… It just couldn’t get here fast enough.

Coming out of a loop

What a week, month, year so far.  Just when I think things are going great, they go sideways.  It’s been a constant roller coaster… Lots of hills and valleys with even a loop thrown in there just to make sure I’m paying attention.  This week has been no exception, starting with last Saturday.

I haven’t been to an airshow in a while.  Youngstown Air Reserve Station was hosting “Thunder Over the Valley” with the Airforce Thunderbirds.  As soon as I saw the ad, I knew I wanted to take on this event.  I’ll explain that concept in a minute.  Saturday came.  Radar showed intermittent rain showers moving across Ohio.  I scrapped the idea to go Saturday, opting for the 0% chance of rain they were calling for on Sunday.  Airshows with low cloud ceilings or rain mean limited or no flying.

I say I would have to “take on” the event because I know the walking was going to be a challenge.  Our trip to Busch Gardens, Virginia after Christmas had proven my back could not tolerate a full day of walking.  Just like there, my plan though for the airshow was to enjoy myself, regardless of the pain I was in.  The difference here would be I couldn’t break down and rent an electric cart vehicle if my back played out.

I got up Sunday and headed for the show.  I had to make the decision at the parking area whether to take my cane or not.  The Air Station doesn’t have any amount of parking so Eastwood Mall was their primary pickup point.  It would have been a long bus ride back to get my cane if I wanted.  I decided not to bother with it.  I would find somewhere to sit down and rest if I had to.  I got on the bus ready to enjoy the day… pain or no pain.

The show was great.  I got VIP seating when I got there.  I had a place I could sit down and rest if needed.  I had a very enjoyable day.  My back complained but I fought it.  In the end, I was there from around 9:45 am to about 5:45 pm… or so I thought.  Typical of my life… A great day… followed by some kind of issue to deal with.  Poor planning choices on the company hired for the busing led to an excruciating 3 hour wait just to get on the  bus.  I sat for about 15 minutes when I got back to my truck to allow my back to catch up with the rest of me.

The week hasn’t been much different.  Project ups and downs that are out of my control keep cropping up.  It took through Wednesday for my back and right leg to stop hurting.  Tink must have some issue with Spring and Summer.  She started acting weird again.  She went from a lap cat, to running from me every time I enter the room… unless of course I have food.  So far, she hasn’t been quite as bad as last Summer.  She hid under the beds and would move where I couldn’t reach her.  I can still pet her and she will come around, even when I’m awake, but something changed again.

Needless to say… All this back and forth emotional changes have stirred my depression into a frenzy.  I came home tonight and took a long nap.  Normally, I change into a pair of shorts and old shirt when I get home.  I just crawled in bed tonight, clothes and all.  I slept ’til around 8:30 pm ish.   Here I am again… Trying to gather my wits back up.  I want to get the video assembled that I took at the airshow.  When my depression is wound up like this, I get critical of everything I do… including this video.  The edits look good at one point, then I go back and fiddle with them.  In the end, I’m not satisfied and fight to get it back to the way I originally had it.  Thus is how my brain works.

I guess I should close this post and continue working on that … or it may never get done.

Catch ya in a few… days, months… hopefully not years.

~Cappy