Funnies

Showing My Inner Geek…

Posted by Cappy on July 5, 2012
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That's No Moon...

… Sometimes just a wee bit too easily.

4:30 AM, July 5th.

Last night at the 17th Annual Party on the White House Lawn, …  No not THAT White House!  You dimwit! The one that belongs to the White Family here in West Middlesex (Ok… The house is White as well.) …  Yeesh!

It was time to partake of the party’s use of the Community Swimming Pool, which happens to be located just across the street.  The day had brought high humidity and heat which made swim time even more appealing.  It brought my internal core temperature down from somewhere between white hot molten steel or lava to the temperature of say… molten lead.  But I digress… I didn’t do a whole lot of swimming due to the number of folks in the pool and the fact that I was already tired from the heat.  It felt good just to hang around in the cool water.

A young mother and her, lets say, three year old son were acclimating to the water.  The child would awkwardly point to something outside the pool and above the general eye line.  Being the righteously attentive parent she was, the young lady asked her son, “What are you looking at?”  He quickly and very clearly replied, “The moon!”  She said, “That’s not the moon…”  My inner geek quickly… and apparently quite loudly because six people turned and looked at me… replied…

(All my geek friends say it along with me!)

“… It’s a Space Station!”

D’oh!

By the strange looks I was getting, I was not in the company of other Geeks or at least not anyone who was even semi-familiar with the Star Wars franchise.  I quietly mumbled, “Wrong generation I guess.”  and moved off to another area of the pool.

You may be looking at the time stamp on this and saying to yourself, “What the heck is he doing writing a blog at that hour of the morning?”

I try to help as much as I can with the party.  My back problems have become somewhat limiting in the amount of carrying and such that I can do.  I leave that to the younger folks.  I try to help keep pop and water stocked and iced, things like that.  One of the tasks I have not given up yet is helping launch the 38 or so minute fireworks presentation that ends the night.  It makes me hurt… hence the reason for this blog being timed such that it is… but I enjoy doing it.  It’s a blast… PUN INTENDED!

The show is set loosely to music.  This year had a Disney theme.   Well, to be honest, so did last year’s but something went amiss with the cd’s or the players and the music didn’t play.  When you have three quarters of the town lining the streets to see a show that they probably think is put on by the borough, you can’t just say “Sorry folks, The music won’t play so we aren’t going to shoot tonight.”  Since we didn’t use it last year, the music was rerecorded… checked… and rechecked to make sure it would play.  Play it did!  We are a low budget… high tech group.  The music is broadcast over FM radio.  We have speakers setup at the launch site so that Rick (White) can follow his armband play list and call the plays… errrrrr shots.  The show is video taped and parts of previous year’s shows can be found on youtube.com.

Kudos go out to the White family:  Rick and his fiancée Kelly – who drive the event each year, Rick’s sister Tammy – who run’s around like a chicken with her head cut off to keep all the little details with the food and drink in order, Rick’s Mom Delores – for allowing the whole bash to take place in her front yard, side yard, garage, basement, driveway … you get the point…

There are also a few folks that help year after year.  These are folks that really appreciate what the White’s do for the community by putting on this party.  They range from folks like Brad and John, who spent the day on the wood fired grill cooking burgers and dogs to others like myself who pitch in where ever needed.

This party is no minor deal.  This shindig starts its production the moment the last one ends.  What started as a simple group of friends getting together, has now morphed into a gathering that most of the community looks forward to.  It may be thrown together by a small band of rebellious individuals (geek again), but it has the feel of any large special event.  It even has garnered the attention of a few local corporate sponsors.

Thanks to Rick and his family for allowing us to celebrate with them.  Tomorrow brings cleanup and then off to prepare for next year.

(I was tinkering with an audio edit of “The Imperial March” to go behind this blog.  The file was too big when kept with any quality.  I noticed the sun was coming up so I gave up on that idea)

~Cappy

Letter from a farm kid (now at San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Posted by Cappy on June 26, 2012
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Marine Cartoon

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you have to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay… practically nothing. Men got to shave but it’s not so bad… there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you ’til noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

Cleaning 101 – Courtesy of Mark Lowry’s Remarkables

Posted by Cappy on July 8, 2011
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  • “Vacuuming too often will weaken the carpet fibers.” Say this with a serious face and shudder
    delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
  • Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging
    rays from the sun. Call it an SF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
  • Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a
    romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need
    dusting, simply say, “What? And spoil the mood?”
  • Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it
    there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged
    children.
  • If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.
    As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously,
    fake a growl and say, “I’d love for you to see our den but Fluffy hates to be
    disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”
  • If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place an urn on the coffee table and insist that,
    “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”
  • Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of
    crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Johnny did this when he
    was two. I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”
  • In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers
    next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby
    reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
  • Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch
    ‘The Galapagos Islands’ and claim an ecological exemption.
  • Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.
    Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an
    exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean
    and I still don’t get anywhere…”