Ghost Rider – Travels On The Healing Road (A Travel Log by Neil Peart)

Posted by Cappy on June 22, 2012
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Taken from Neil Peart’s Ghost Rider Travels of the Healing Road Chapter One.

 I have been reading this book for the couple of weeks or so.  I bought it because it is a book about one man’s lonely journey into the world of dealing with massive grief.  Neil Peart, world recognized as one of, if not the best drummers of this era, loses his daughter then his wife within 10 months.  He takes off on his motorcycle in an effort to find what he has lost.  As a RUSH fan, I thought it would be interesting to read how someone of such a celebrity stature dealt with such a loss.

I too have had my share of grief over the last two years.  The third anniversary of Mom’s passing is coming up soon.  Memory’s of that day still haunt my mind clearly.  The phone call from Dad as I got ready for work.  I remember hearing my self say over and over “hold on Dad… I’m coming… I’m coming”  The two blocks between my house and their’s seemed to take forever even though I’m very certain that my truck was moving at well over the posted speed limit on that morning.  I walked in the house.  She was in Dad’s chair… motionless… silent as though she had just slept away.  I tried hard to keep my composer… Calling 911…  Dealing with the police and ambulance folks.  It was something I had worked hard to prepare myself for but had hoped that day would never come.  No matter how hard you prepare, you’re never really ready.  Neil note’s in the book at first he feels like something has taken away all that he is.  He is not ‘that guy’ anymore.  I don’t know if I felt quite like that but I did feel like there was this empty blackness within my chest trying to swallow any semblance of happiness I might have had.

I guess I bought this book for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, This year has been alot tougher than I thought it would be.  My mind told me that the first year would be the hardest.  It was hard, but there was so much going on… so much to do to resolve everything.  This year things have settled into normalcy.  There are days when I suddenly flash to thoughts of Mom.  Things we’ve done… Hoped to do… Will now never do.  Neil notes that experts say the second year of grief is always the hardest.  I would have to agree at this point.

Another reason I bought the book was because of the motorcycle connection.  The bike I bought last summer has been one of my greatest escapes.  I can see why someone with that kind of financial stability would just up and ride off.  There are times that I even have thought “Why don’t I just get on the bike and run from this place?  Run until the money runs out.”  (Heh… Probably wouldn’t get far.)

Mom really didn’t want me to have a motorcycle.  She had a fit when I bought the first ATV.  She didn’t think the bank would finance me.  She was taken by surprise when they did.. with no problem.  I told myself that I wouldn’t buy a bike while she lived unless he gave me her blessing.

 Early last summer, I knew I had to do something to get out of the hole that was consuming me.  Disney!  My first step was the Disney Vacation I allowed myself to take.  The whole thing went on the credit card and I spent more than I had planned, but that didn’t matter.  I went by myself and had a blast.  The next goal I set was to at least get my motorcycle license and hopefully, in time, a bike.  That all fell into place as the summer wound down.  To this day, I will not ride the bike up to the cemetery.

The cemetery… Another struggle I have.  I find it very difficult to go there.  Some folks seem to gravitate to their loved one’s final resting place.  I can’t.  Mom once said, while visiting my Grandpa’s grave “He’s not there. I know he’s not there.”  I know what she was talking about now.  Her faith was strong even at the lowest points in her battle with that beast we call Cancer.  Her body may be interred in that place, but her soul is sitting with Jesus in the thrown room.  There is not a time I go up there that I feel like such a terrible person.  When Mom was at her worst, I prayed that if God saw fit he would either heal her or take her home.  I didn’t want to see her suffer any more.  I still feel like sometimes I’m to blame for giving up on her.

I guess I hoped to find some relief in Neil’s writings, some little tidbit that would help in my struggle.  There definitely were similarities in the pain and anger of grief.  Time will heal with the help of friends both old and new.  Just like Neil’s journey, I’m sure my “Healing road” has many turns left to negotiate.  I know I’ve probably babbled this all before.  It keeps coming back to haunt me.  One day I guess I’ll see the reason for it all and it will all make some sort of sense.  Maybe it won’t.  Until then, I’ll keep babbling and doing what needs to be done day to day.

Tomorrow is Friday.  It will be a boring day at work because most everybody will be out thanks to our forced vacation policy that went into effect this month.  Maybe I’ll take my lunch out of the office just to be different.  You know.. break the dull routine.  What does that have to do with the rest of the post?  Not a clue.  I guess I’m tired.  Time give Tink her nightly ‘scratches’ and lay my head to rest.

Sleep tight.

~Cappy

Not much of interest …

Posted by Cappy on June 21, 2012
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The last few days haven’t been that interesting, to be honest. I have been fighting with a head cold that I thought was alergies to start. It went into my ears so I’m pretty sure the allergy theory is shot to pieces.

The weather is warm. A little too warm when you’re just loafing around outside… or worse… trying to do some work. It isn’t too bad on the bike though. The temperature is usually several degrees cooler and the air blowing over you keeps the sweat down. Can’t imagine what it’s like to ride through the regions out west where it stays in the tripple digits. Probably feels like riding in an oven.

I’ve been reading “Ghost Rider – Travels on the Healing Road” by Neil Peart. There are many similarities in the path grief has taken in our lives. I don’t know how he made it through losing his daughter and wife in 10 months. I recognize many of the feelings… or sometimes lack of feelings.

I have vacation coming up the week of July 2nd – 6th. I’ve been giving thought to taking the bike on a ride. Maybe spend a day or three out and about. The jury is still out on that one yet. I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

Tink gave me a scare on Tuesday. I came home to find her laying on the bed, lethargic and fairly disinterested in me. She usually comes running when I come home then heads to the bed for a scratch or two. I petted her for a bit but she didn’t purr or respond in her normal methods. She laid on her side and washed her right ear for about 5 minutes. I don’t know whether her ear was bothering her or she was just having a bad day. I guess even cats have those. She seemed fine later in the evening and was completely back to herself yesterday and this morning.

I’ll keep digging around the travel sites for interesting stuff to do during my time off. I don’t really need to go anywhere. Just being out of the dungeon will be a nice change. My thoughts take me out to the Lancaster area for a few days. Lots of train related stuff out there, as well as, Hershey and the Sight & Sound Theater. Still thinking about it.

Maybe I’ll have something more adventureous to post later.

~Cappy

The Comings and Goings of Life

Posted by Cappy on June 14, 2012
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This will be the first installment of what some might call a daily (hopefully) journal.

Today memories play havoc with my emotions.  One of the employees here at work has been fighting cancer.  He needed a marrow transplant to help deal with this dreaded disease.  The doctors finally found a match and he was able to have the procedure.  Unfortunately, he has now contracted a rather nasty infection and is not doing well.  The whole building seems to be in a quiet state… watching… hoping… waiting… praying.

Thoughts of Nathan’s struggle bring back some of the memories of Mom’s struggle with Cancer.  The treatments that are available can be extremely powerful.  Powerful enough that sometimes the treatment stresses the body more than the disease.  When these treatments work, those stresses are often short lived and go away with time.  If the treatments don’t do what they are meant to, it loads that much more stress on the individual.  I think of what Nate’s family are feeling now as they provide all the support they can muster.  There is a feeling of helplessness.  You can even feel it here in the people who know Nate.  I silently pray that his body is strong enough to overcome the infection so that his wife and little boy don’ t have to go through the seemingly endless darkness that follows the death of a loved one who is so close.

Its coming up on 3 years since Mom passed away from this dreadful disease.  You learn to live with loss but things change.  You change.  I am about to finish up Neil Peart’s book “Ghost Rider  Travels on The Healing Road”.  This is the second ‘travelling book’ that I have read where the person sets off on a journey to try and justify their loss.  The Ghost Rider (Neil Peart, Drummer for RUSH) sets out on a motorcycle journey after losing his daughter and wife within a year’s time.  As a RUSH fan, and a motorocycle rider, I thought maybe there might be something I could draw from his writings.  He often refers to his journey as trying to sooth his “Little baby soul”.  Along the way, he finds that life keeps taking from him.  His travelling companion ends up in jail before they are suppose to meet up on the journey.  Neil’s dog has to be put down.  He feels that so many things have been taken from him that he is no longer the person he once was.  He loses his drive to drum or work.  He heads of on his motorcycle with no destination in mind.  He dubs himself “The Ghost Rider” because he seems to be carrying only ghosts with him on the journey.

The loss of self when a loved one dies isn’t something you can explain easily.  I felt that there was a large dark hole starting to consume me for a long time after Mom passed.  Still at times the darkness comes back as I see reminders of things she enjoyed or places we’ve been, or in today’s case: Nate’s struggle.  As time passes, Neil discovers that the different things that happen begin to help him deal with his losses.  He coins the name “The Healing Road”.  We all have our Healing Road that we have to travel.  It isn’t always easy.  As a matter of fact, sometimes its down right dangerous.  We find our selves in stuck in the mud, sliding on ice, alone in the desert in the darkness. 

My motorcycle has been a lifeline for me these past few months.  Mom hated the thought of me riding a street bike.  She’s probably rolling in her grave every time I get on the thing.  I find it relaxing.  Riding requires a certain concentration whether the rider admits it or not.  Its not quite like driving a car or truck.  Your senses are over run by things you never really notice in a car.  Wind, rain, temperature changes, smells, all come at you much faster on a bike as you have little between you and nature.  Drive past a dead skunk on the road on a bike and you’ll quickly know what I mean.  Add in all the crazy drivers out to kill you as you ride and you have something that requires your attention at all times. 

You are probably wondering how I find all of ‘that’ relaxing.  All of ‘that’ draws my mind away from all the things that weigh me down emotionally.  I am forced to keep my eyes on the road.  My ‘Rider Radar’ (as they call it in the motorcycle safety course) becomes focused on what is going on around me.  Where are the potholes?  Watch out for that loose gravel!  HEY LADY! GET OFF THE PHONE AND PAY ATTENTION!  Man… That’s a heck of  a wind gust! CRAP! Missed a gear.  Uh Oh… It’s starting to sprinkle.  No time for thoughts of how sucky work was today or the house needing swept up.

Today, work is getting me down.  All the other issues such as Nate are adding to it.  My stupid back has been paining me a lot the last few days.  I keep plugging along.  “Just take one thing at a time” I tell myself.  Maybe this journal idea will help. 

~Back to the grind I go~

 

Update 1:47  pm

Nate passed away at 12:27 pm.  Lord take him in your loving embrace.  Let his family know your comforting touch.

Gazing at the future by looking into the past

Posted by Cappy on April 14, 2012
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I couldn’t sleep tonight. In my restlessness, I began to ponder changes in my tastes as I”ve gotten older. It’s odd how the brain functions.

There are foods now that I gladly eat that I hated when I was younger. By the same token, There are foods that I used to live off of that I can take or leave now. Donuts, I recently found, are one of those foods. I used to scarf donuts like they were the last food on earth. Over the last few years as I have tried to watch my weight and get my sugar under control, they have become little more than extremely sweet. I had one of my favorite filled donuts the other day… bleh… too sugary.

I find similar things in my musical likes and dislikes. Groups I used to like a little bit have become more interesting. I pay more attention to the content than just listening to the beat. I even find myself studying the words from time to time to see if there is something I am or am not getting.

Life itself has changed. I used to not care that I was always out doing things by myself. I think now that it would nice to have shared a few of the events of my life with someone special. I reflect on the special nature these events had as they occurred. How much better would it have been with a family of my own or that special someone. I’ll probably never know.

Speaking of love… From the high school days well into my early 30’s, I had no real interest in finding someone. Looking back, there were many opportunities. I found ways to side step or screw most of those up. The last few years brought some interest in finding or creating a relationship. That too has now waned. There are/were just too many depressing ends or rejections. My cat has become my comfort zone. She is loyal. She knows when I am down or feeling out of it. I’ve decided that I’ll settle for her silent companionship over the troublesome nature of human relationships.

I’ve become used to the no longer having Mom around. I still miss her, especially when I happen to stumble across something that she used to enjoy. The hurt of her passing has mellowed into mixed feelings. Joyful memories ebb and flow mixed with sadness that she is no longer here. There are even times when it seems normal for her not to be here. Those times are usually just before I stumble across some memento or song that she liked. I even get angry with myself for feeling that way… like I’m losing my mental picture of her.

I’m getting older. My body doesn’t recover nearly as fast from illness or injury. I see more of the health problems that Dad has cropping into my life. The doctor always said “I’m my father’s child” because I carry most of the ailments he has. YAY!.. There’s something to look forward to. (Sarcasm… Please watch your step)

Even my view of my dad has changed… or has it. He seems more outgoing than he used to. Maybe that’s how he copes with mom not being here. He cracks jokes all the time now. He makes comments that I’m sure would have garnered him a scowl from Mom. I’m not sure if he’s been this way all along and I’m just now noticing or if this is him coming out of his shell. I seem to be crawling further into mine.

Oh well… Enough random observances for tonight. Long day ahead. Should try to sleep.

The Mental Struggle of the Knee

Posted by Cappy on February 20, 2012
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Over the last several months, I’ve watched my dad’s knees fail him.  It started with one knee then the other to the point where he walked with a cane.  During the early onset of the knee issues, he wouldn’t get them fixed.  I assumed that it was because he didn’t want me to have to take care of both he and Mom, who at the time was battling agressive cancer. While that assumption was somewhat correct, it was also somewhat flawed.

I have learned a few things from watching Dad’s recovery as well as from comments he has made since having the surgery completed.  The challenge of having the knees fixed was not only physical.  It was also very much mental.  Some of the mental challenges are things you might think of;  not wanting to deal with the pain, being laid up for a few weeks, or depending on someone else to get by day to day.  There were other things though that I really hadn’t thought about. 

He mentioned the other day that his knees were ready to be fixed but he wasn’t ready.  He has said a couple of interesting things.  He wasn’t so much worried about the pain as he was that the artificial knee wouldn’t ‘feel’ like a normal knee.  It might feel foriegn.  He has been surprised, as have his nurses and therapists, at the lack of pain in the knee that was replaced.  He actually complains more about pain in the left knee which remains to be fixed.  He has been quick to point out to the nurses and doctors that he is ready to have the left one fixed as well.  The surgery was much more tolerable than he thought it would be as far as the knee pain goes.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that he is much more concerned now about his bad knee giving out.  I watched him many times in the past few months practically crawl up the stairs.  He had come up with ways to get his laundry up and down to the basement without my help.  Now though, He is very cautious of the stairs.  Today, the therapist took him clear up and back down.  He seemed to do very well compared to when both knees were bad.  He told me at lunch that he wasn’t going to go up and down the steps yet without someone around.  He looks physically capable, especially when compared to when both knees were bad.  Mentally, though, today was a challenge he had to conquer.  Next will probably be getting him in and out of the shower.  Stepping up over the side of the tub will be a new trick.

The mental challenges seem to far outweigh the actual physical challenges.  He didn’t really want to go to the Transitional Care Center for another week in the hospital.  When he got there, he was glad he was there. They helped him figure out how to do little things we would normally take for granted.  It also meant someone was there around the clock.  He did get sick while he was in the hospital.  It was a relief to me to have the nurses there to help.  In the end, he commented how much better he felt having that extra time to get his strength back in his knee.  He says at first it felt like it had a lead weight put in it.

Even getting out of chairs or off the toilet has required more mental effort than most would think.  I raised his recliner so he could get out of it fairly easily.  The hospital gave him a toilet extender to help with the height of the seat there.  The kitchen chairs are a bit of a challenge.  He has to mentally prepare himself to get up.  I don’t think its because it hurts as much as it is that he doesn’t have the strength built up in his leg to help lift his body.  He has a bad shoulder as well, so he sometimes sits at the table for a few minutes contemplating which way to get up.  He figures it out, but then again, he’s been having to figure out how to do things with bad legs for the last couple years.

I’m glad that he is ready to have the other knee done as soon as the docs say he is ready.  Watching him walk in the hall today without use of his cane or walker was hopefully a small glimpse of where he will be come Fall when both knees are done.  He will be on his walker probably until he gets the second knee done.  He should have been on one long before now but he got around as well as he could with his cane.  I know he now looks forward to the day when he can walk out to the swing in the yard or walk around the neighborhood again.  That was something he really enjoyed.  The birds will be happy too.  Their feeders will be full again.  He has his mind set on getting the other knee done.  He will push himself through it.  He will find a way to overcome the physical as well as the mental obstructions. 

He was concerned about me using my vacation time to take care of him (another mental challenge).  I told him not to worry abou that.  He needed to get his legs fixed.  That was much more important than me going on vacation somewhere.  Fortunately, my job allows me to work from home so I really haven’t used that much time.  I look forward the day he walks on two good knees. 

Thanks to all the friends, neighbors and relatives that have been very supportive throughout the first round.  Your support is greatly appreciated.

~Cappy

Depression

Posted by Cappy on August 26, 2011
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Depression
As I look back on the past year or so, I think about how Depression ruled my life. Depression is an ugly thing that can create emotional and physical fatigue. After Mom died last July, things were all out of kilter. I hated myself for the way I felt the last few weeks she lived. Selfishly, I wanted her suffering to be over. I didn’t realize how much it hurt me to see her sick until those final days when all she could do was sit in the chair and sleep. Why do we take people in our lives for granted until we realize they soon won’t be with us.
I had started tracking my calories a couple years ago. I was surprised that I was able to drop from 348 pounds down to 275. I didn’t feel that great at 275 because my sugar hadn’t yet stabilized. It slowly would have, had I been able to stay at that weight. As the Depression took over my life, I lost the will to follow the simple steps of tracking what I ate. In the end, I gained a lot of the weight back. Why? Just not watching what I ate. The loss had been fairly easy. A couple pounds a week just by keeping track of what I was eating and matching that to the calories I should need. When you stop making that match of what you are putting in to what you actually need, you over eat without even thinking about it. Depression also makes you eat. Combine the lack of desire to bother with doing a couple minutes of tracking a meal and feeling like I’m hungry or eating because I was bored and there you have it.
This past month things have been improving in my life. I made a decision back in April that I would do some things that I have always wanted to do but had put off for one reason or another. Item #1: I went to Disney World and stayed on property. I went by myself, but that was ok. I planned out what I wanted to do in each of the parks and managed to do all of it and then some. Item #2: I have always wanted to by a street legal motorcycle and get my license. I began looking for a bike back in April as well. I knew that I wanted either a bike that sat fairly upright or a cruiser that had a sitting position my back would tolerate. I was a little disappointed because I could find bikes I liked, but they were hugely expensive.
Months passed and I still hadn’t found a bike. I finally decided to get my permit and take the riders safety course whether I had a bike or not. Around the same time, a friend stopped to talk to me at the racetrack. We talked about bikes and I mentioned wanting one and getting my permit. He told me he had 2 for sale. I knew these bikes he had. They were exactly what I was looking for. He had a 700 and an 1100. I was leaning towards the bigger bike, just because I’m a bigger person. We got together one evening and I checked out the bikes. The 700 was just a tad small for my long legs. We talked price and he gave me what I thought was a really good deal. Needless to say, I now own a Honda V65 Magna.
Part of the challenge of buying a used bike is getting it to way you want it. The bike started and ran well. It did have a few oil and gas leaks, but its 26 years old and had sat in the garage the last couple years. Nothing I hadn’t expected. I began to work on the bike, as I took the riding classes. Working on the bike provided me with a distraction that kept me from sitting on the couch, watching TV and munching snacks. Last night Bob, his wife and I took a nice ride. I still have a small oil leak to fix on the back side of the engine, but nothing that will stop me from riding.
Last Monday, I decided that I was going to start tracking my calories again. I went back to Livestrong.com and began to rebuild my profile. I have already lost 5 pounds. When you are depressed you don’t even realize you are eating 1500 or more calories than your body really needs. I killed off the extra helpings at dinner, the extra snacks at work and resumed eating decent lunches instead of the pizza buffet or McDonalds. Don’t get me wrong, I still love pizza, but now I eat it as a treat now and again instead of pigging out. I hope the motorcycle and other distractions that I’ve been playing with lately keep me on the upswing. It would be really nice to not feel like I have a black cloud draped over my insides all the time.
That’s all I have for now. If you feel depressed, find something to occupy your time. Maybe something you wanted to do but just hadn’t set your mind to.. . or maybe you didn’t think you could. You might surprise yourself.

Cleaning 101 – Courtesy of Mark Lowry’s Remarkables

Posted by Cappy on July 8, 2011
Posted in: Funnies. Leave a Comment
  • “Vacuuming too often will weaken the carpet fibers.” Say this with a serious face and shudder
    delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
  • Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging
    rays from the sun. Call it an SF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
  • Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a
    romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need
    dusting, simply say, “What? And spoil the mood?”
  • Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it
    there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged
    children.
  • If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.
    As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously,
    fake a growl and say, “I’d love for you to see our den but Fluffy hates to be
    disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”
  • If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place an urn on the coffee table and insist that,
    “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”
  • Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of
    crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Johnny did this when he
    was two. I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”
  • In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers
    next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby
    reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
  • Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch
    ‘The Galapagos Islands’ and claim an ecological exemption.
  • Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.
    Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an
    exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean
    and I still don’t get anywhere…”

Life is a pain in the neck.. and the back.

Posted by Cappy on July 8, 2011
Posted in: Life. Leave a Comment

For some 7 or 8 years now, I have been living with bad disks in my back. Those of you who have this problem know that it can range from minor aching to debilitating pain.

I have always had a fairly high pain tolerence which in most cases has been a good thing. Not so much with my back though. I frequently find myself doing things that I probably should not due. These tasks don’t usually bother me while I’m doing them. A couple of days later, however, my body tells me it did not like what I did.

This past weekend was a great example. I worked at the race track on Saturday night. We had a couple of incidents that I responded to instinctively. I pay for that all this week. I couldn’t sleep at all Sunday night because my back and neck were spiking with pain.

Monday, the 4th of July, I set about getting ready to go over to the Party on the White House Lawn, a yearly gig that I help with. I took it extremely easy throughout the day because: 1) I was dead tired. 2) I was extremely sore and stiff. The day went fairly well. I helped with the firework show, loading launch tubes. As we were cleaning up, I knew my Tuesday was not going to be a good one. I reported off work.

Tuesday morning came with a loud groan as I tried to get out of bed. I laid around the house until a little after 6 pm when I ventured up to Dad’s for dinner. I wanted to work on the frame for my new screen door. There was no way that was going to happen.

Thursday night I finally got the frame in for the door. I slept extremely well through the night. I didn’t even want to get up because my back and neck were so comfortable the way I was laying in bed. Tonight I shoot for getting the door on and finished up.

Saturday brings the races once again. I am going to attempt to avoid the things that aggrevated me last week. It sucks to take almost a week to recover from the weekend just in time to get to… another weekend. I guess I’m just getting old. Oh well, Can’t stay in bed all the time. Wish me luck.

~Cappy

Racing around the ring of life..

Posted by Cappy on June 9, 2011
Posted in: Life. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a Comment

Last week I had the oppurtunity to take a weeks vacation. I had a great time at Disney World. I even had the oppurtunity to surprise a friend over the weekend on the way home.

This week has just about drained all that enjoyment out of me. Its amazing how location and environment can take you from one emotional level to another so quickly. This week has been such a drain that I almost feel sick to my stomach. I’m hoping that its more all the things I did last week catching up to me than it is depression at the things I’ve had to deal with since I got back home.

I look around as life zips by and see so many things falling through the cracks. Maybe I should liken it more to water being splashed out of a bucket as I go down life’s roads. I think we get so caught up in the pace of life that we totally forget what we were meant to do or be.

Maybe I’m just tired. I’ll see as the weekend approaches. Hopefully, I will get caught up and things will look brighter. I know that in the back of my mind there are memories of the events that took place almost a year ago. Those memories aren’t helping how I feel.

I’ll sit back with Tink again tonight and try to relax my brain. Life will continue on around me, of that I’m sure.

Money doesn’t grow on trees…

Posted by Cappy on May 27, 2011
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The Money Tree Bank

I am waiting for science to biologically engineer a Money Tree. Wouldn’t that be the greatest. A small tree that sits in a pot on the table which blooms 10’s, 20’s or 100’s. Blooming season would be about two weeks out of every month. I would be more than satisfied with even one week a month of 100’s.

There is this guy named Bill that seems to show up every month. He is a greedy son of a gun. He seems to like to drain our paychecks as quickly as we get them. I bet if we did have such a biological wonder as a money tree, Bill would find some way to steal the money right from the branches.

I laugh at these folks who have all these fancy, high paying jobs, yet have no clue how to manage their money. They end up broke living out of their cars.. If their cars aren’t repossesed. I’ve never wanted to be that rich. I have no desire to buy a multimillion dollar house and yacht. Just give me enough to pay the bills. Go on vacation once in a while and maybe buy a couple toys to play with. I’d be more than happy.

Vacation is coming up soon. I’ve been asked to go to North Carolina to partake in a birthday celebration. Unfortunately, I had already scheduled my vacation and Bill has seen fit to limit my funds to one trip this year. I hope the birthday girl has a great day.